I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
