i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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