At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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