bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
