There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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