I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
P.S. I can't hear my feet
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
