i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
