why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
