Those balls look pretty dangerous.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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