After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
