dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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