Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize