What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
