if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
