you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
tonight lets celebrate not being married
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
