just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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