Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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