break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
