her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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