I heard we made out
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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