I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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