Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Someone shattered a urinal.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
