BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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