You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
