im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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