Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
