You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize