i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
