So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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