kristin has been a bad kristin
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
