seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize