So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
