If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
