my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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