I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
