so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize