It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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