Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
