Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
