Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I think I sprained my soul last night
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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