how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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