Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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