i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
