omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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