If that was your dad, he is hot
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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