VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
