we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
