there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
