This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
