Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
