Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
worst night to have a conscience
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
