if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
