Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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