In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i permit you to call me
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you traded sex for a burrito?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
