I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
