Where are you?
In a non slutty way
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
