i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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