after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
