Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
