She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
